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Yesterday, on a lark, decided to put the name of my ex-wife into a search engine to see what came up. I figured, "What the hell. She's been online longer than me and I know there is stuff out there with my name on it." So I look it up, and I find that there is some interesting stuff out there. Things she has written, petitons she has signed for very worthy causes...and I was sitting there knowing that I needed to write her and let her know that...that I was sorry. This is what I wrote:
Sasha,
I just found your article on www.nfgcc.org, but that
is not the reason I'm writing this. I want to say
that in our last exchange, I was an asshole and I'm
sorry. I'm sorry for the way that I acted then and
when we were married. There is still a part of me
that wishes I could take the pain away like when we
first met, but I know that I can't. I don't really
expect that you would want that if it could happen. I
don't know if you have found anyone who understands
and is there for you now, but I hope you have. I also
hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me my
part in everything, but I would understand if it
weren't so.
Take care and I hope Life finds you better in the
future.
Glenn
...and I sent it, not knowing if I was going to get a cool response at the best or a don't-you-ever-contact-me-again-you-bastard at worst. I guess I should explain. When Sasha and I spoke last, I was a Grade-A asshole to her. I know I was, and I believe she was as well, very much on the defensive and things just went very awry. Anyways, I sent it and I waited, very afraid of what the response would be. The next day I saw this in my mail:
Glenn, I really appreciate that. I was wrong too. Period. If we can forgive each other (and I do now, even though I couldn't manage it for a while) then, well, then there's hope for other (unrelated) lost causes :)
I've made a lot of friends through that silly four-year-old article, beleive it or not, and I'm going to have a really good morning hoping that it helped me regain an old friend, at least in part.
Thank you for the strength and compassion you showed me today, and may the good deed rebound upon you nine times. :)
As far as "the pain..." I've learned more about that, and about other things I've suffered since I left you, and I can honestly say that I've changed and I'm not quite so vulnerable... although I'm not going to fall off the other side and think that I'm now powerful, or anything. More realistic, maybe.
Hugs to you, and I hope you're doing well. I'm just SO glad you wrote.
S
I was speechless. This was the best possible outcome that I could have hoped for. I want to write her back, but I'm trying to figure out what I will say to her, so I'm giving it a little time...
Sasha,
I just found your article on www.nfgcc.org, but that
is not the reason I'm writing this. I want to say
that in our last exchange, I was an asshole and I'm
sorry. I'm sorry for the way that I acted then and
when we were married. There is still a part of me
that wishes I could take the pain away like when we
first met, but I know that I can't. I don't really
expect that you would want that if it could happen. I
don't know if you have found anyone who understands
and is there for you now, but I hope you have. I also
hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me my
part in everything, but I would understand if it
weren't so.
Take care and I hope Life finds you better in the
future.
Glenn
...and I sent it, not knowing if I was going to get a cool response at the best or a don't-you-ever-contact-me-again-you-bastard at worst. I guess I should explain. When Sasha and I spoke last, I was a Grade-A asshole to her. I know I was, and I believe she was as well, very much on the defensive and things just went very awry. Anyways, I sent it and I waited, very afraid of what the response would be. The next day I saw this in my mail:
Glenn, I really appreciate that. I was wrong too. Period. If we can forgive each other (and I do now, even though I couldn't manage it for a while) then, well, then there's hope for other (unrelated) lost causes :)
I've made a lot of friends through that silly four-year-old article, beleive it or not, and I'm going to have a really good morning hoping that it helped me regain an old friend, at least in part.
Thank you for the strength and compassion you showed me today, and may the good deed rebound upon you nine times. :)
As far as "the pain..." I've learned more about that, and about other things I've suffered since I left you, and I can honestly say that I've changed and I'm not quite so vulnerable... although I'm not going to fall off the other side and think that I'm now powerful, or anything. More realistic, maybe.
Hugs to you, and I hope you're doing well. I'm just SO glad you wrote.
S
I was speechless. This was the best possible outcome that I could have hoped for. I want to write her back, but I'm trying to figure out what I will say to her, so I'm giving it a little time...
